So… things have been pretty intense since NaNo ended. December 15th, I quit my job. Why, you ask? Well, let’s just say that the day before at work, something happened between me and my boss that just… I think the term “unacceptable” sums it up pretty well. It was painful; I really did love the job. But just one mean-spirited comment, one wrong touch, and it just destroyed my trust is all.
Forgiveness has been hard, but I’m getting there. The first week was especially rough: I could hardly get to sleep at night, not to mention it threw me for a loop and left me questioning all the other people I thought I could trust. Maybe I’m just a tad sensitive is all, but I guess sometimes all it takes is one thing. I’ve been so blessed though, to have Jesus to pour my heart to and know that He hears me. My parents have been there for me too, to help me pick myself up and continue on. I’m doing okay. I’m in a new chapter of my life now, and that is wherever Jesus leads me 🙂
Phew, other stuff? I went to this youth conference in Atlanta, Georgia for the first time—it’s called Passion—with some church friends. As you may or may not know about me, I’m kind of a homebody. Mmmkay, my home is in freaking NEW JERSEY. Georgia? Now, she’s about twelve hours away by driving, and that’s exactly what we did. That’s a rented twelve-person minibus (two of them to be exact; it was a big group) sailing down the highway for six hours, staying at a hotel overnight, sailing down for another six hours, staying another two nights in Atlanta for the conference, driving six hours back, hotel, six more and finally home. That was a January 1st to January 5th trip. Aaaaaand you’re looking at an introvert here. Wanna see how packed the Georgia dome was?
Thaaaaat’s right. But y’know? There was a reason I went. The presence of God? It was there. And furthermore, given my introverted qualities in an auditorium packed with 60,000 people, I actually had to rely on Jesus just to get me out alive. And He really pulled through for me. Oh, and the memories! Y’know what a vegan person plus not-vegan boxed sandwich lunches provided by Passion equals? Everyone in my group giving me their pickles to eat. Word to the wise: DON’T eat five pickles at once on an empty stomach unless you wanna feel nauseous in about an hour. EVEN IF YOU’RE STARVING. Just don’t.
The messages, though? Powerful. The main message that stood out to me was about endurance. Endurance is absolutely CRUCIAL as a writer. And even moreso, yes I’m hoping people enjoy my writing, but I’m also hoping to give people a glimpse of the God who loves them, of hope and second chances. It’s a hard, exhausting job. But sitting there, hearing Christine Caine go through the list of all the things Jesus endured just to save an ungrateful nutbar like me, it seems that the least I can do is endure, punch right through that writer’s block and let God use the shame of my past the way He wants. Hey, nobody ever said this was supposed to be easy anyhow, right? Nah, man. NAH.
One more exciting thing I’ve been kicking around lately. Although nothing’s set in stone as of yet, I’m feeling pretty confident lately so here it is: in the early half of this year, I’ll be seeking to self-publish my debut novel, Here For A Reason! I’m sure you remember my post about getting her out to test readers, and yeah there’s some small fixes but nothing to go dog’s day afternoon about. Seriously, I’ve been working on this story since September of 2014. I’ve edited the crap out of it. I’ve done all I can for it, I’ve been trying to write myself a publishable story for at least eight years. I don’t care to wait around for a publisher’s attention or entrust them with the success of my story. Ya gotta start somewhere, right? Well, I’m startin’. Get myself out there and see some reactions. Throw myself a freakin PARTY, because I made it farther than I ever thought I could. Crack open some sparkling apple cider, for the love. We’ll see, my friends… but I gotta say, I’m feeling pretty decided up in here 🙂
So, there’s my current life. Uhh, happy new year! And stuff. Did any of you go to Passion 2017, by any chance? What’d ya think? Any job-quitting stories to top mine? I tell ya, my hands were shaking but I was SO glad once it was over. Any comments welcome!